Are your expectations realistic?

The expectations that you hold about what your child can reasonably achieve has been shown to be very important in their  academic performance (Rutchik, Smyth, Loopoo  & Dusek 2009) as well as how children are socialized and their overall development (Rubin et al 2006). Yet if these expectations are unrealistic they can be extremely troublesome. Children with conduct disorder have been found to have parents who's expectations as to appropriate behavior is too low while children whose parents expectations are too high are found to be at risk for child maltreatment (Stith et al 2009)

To have an idea about whether your expectations are realistic here are what experts consider your child should have achieved by the end of each age group

American Academy of Pediatrics. 2013. Developmental Milestones: 2 year olds.
American Academy of Pediatrics. 2013. Developmental Milestones: 3 to 4 year olds. 
Ferendez-Parra, Lopez-Rubio, S. Mata, S. Calero, M. Vives, M. Carles, R. & Navarro E. 2013. Cognitive Abilities, Adjustment and Parenting Practices in Preschoolers with Disruptive Conduct Problems. Electronic Journal of Research in Educational Psychology. 11 (3) 577
North Carolina University Cooperative Extensive Service. Childhood Years: 6 through 12. 
Rubin K. Hemphill S. Chen X. Hastings P. Sanson A. LoCoco A. &  Doh, H. 2006. Parenting Beliefs and Behaviors: Initial Findings from the International Consortium for the Study of Social and Emotional Development (ICSSED). In K.H. Rubin  & O.B. Chung (Eds) Parental Beliefs, Parenting and Child Development  in Cross Cultural Perspective (pp. 81- 103). London; Psychology Press
 Rutchik, A. Smyth, J. Loopoo M. & Dusek J. 2009. Great Expectations: The Biasing Effects of Reported Child Behavior Problems on Educational Expectancies and Subsequent Academic Achievement. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 28. 392 - 413
Sparrow, S. Cichetti, D. & Balla, D. 2005. Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scales. Second Edition.
Stith, S. Liu, T. Davies, C. Boykin, E. Alder, M. Harris, J. & Dees, J. 2009. Risk Factors in Child Maltreatment: A meta-analytic review of the literature. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 14, 13-29


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